memeufacturing:

i always keep a condom in my wallet. that way, if it ever gets stolen, then the thief will think , that i do sex

one time my friend thought it would be a good idea to buy condoms right before we tried to buy cigarettes in order to make us look more mature or something and our attempt failed but he gave them to me so now I had a three pack of fire and ice condoms and three months later we I was coming back from prom with a group of other people and the guy in the passenger seat asks if anybody has any condoms and out of the five other juniors I, a freshman, was the only one who had one so excitedly he takes it holds it out the window to try to fill it up with air as a joke and that’s the story of how I indirectly covered a stranger’s dash board in lube

(via thebootydiaries)

toplad:

pupsnout:

I had a dream abt weed

(via thebootydiaries)

lesbianshepard:

i was raised catholic so every time i hear “may the force be with you” my automatic response is “and also with you”

I don’t know what kind of catholic liturgy you were raised with, but being brought up in traditional anglo-catholicism, my natural response is always “and with thy spirit”

(via lesbianclassics)

caffeine fills me with hate